Every generation has its challenges. My Dad left post-war Europe because at the time there was no future and ultra-high unemployment. Why stick around? He wanted a better life, so he boarded a boat bound for Canada. We are all so happy he chose to get off in Halifax and not Ellis Island.
A couple weeks later the boat docked and he disembarked. Where to go and what to do was foremost on his mind. He had no job, no place to stay, couldn't speak English, and possessed the equivalent of a hundred bucks in his pocket.
He was fleeing his life at home for a better future somewhere else, nothing else mattered and everything else seemed trivial. Today we call this “risk-taking”. He found a job, met my mother, married, started a family of his own and bought a house. He built that better life and still enjoys it today at 88 years old. More importantly, he has his health and a secure financial future to enjoy his life.
In 2004 my wife and I were working on Canada's West Coast, 3000 miles from where we both grew up. After much debate and the fact we missed home, we decided to move back after being away for four years.
We resigned from our good paying full time jobs with benefits and started to plan.
The next step, was to downsize and get rid of as much stuff as possible. We sold what we could, brought in an auctioneer for the rest. We had enough money to pay for our move back home with the proceeds.
What we didn't have when we arrived back home were jobs, a permanent place to stay and vehicles. Upon arrival, we emptied the U-Haul into a storage container and moved in with family until we could sort things out.
Eventually we both found part-time work, bought cars and purchased a townhouse which we still live in today, 14 years later. Those jobs turned into full-time and a few years ago we paid our house off. We were willing to take the risk of quitting our secure life and jobs so we could be happier somewhere else. It all worked out, just like it did years earlier for my Dad.
The majority of today's millennial generation (not all) eschews risk in all forms. They have no sense of adventure outside of a few blocks of the family basement. It shocks me how many are satisfied living at home, or in the process of boomeranging back home while still in their late twenties and early thirties.
If they work at all, it's as a minimum wage slave, stuck in a dead end job with no benefits and no future.
They can't support or pay for their lifestyle without support from the bank of Mom & Dad. They require and desire more government intervention to help them get through life because doing it on their own is hard work and just plain sucks.
They always seem to have their hand out for help instead of going out on their own and taking risks. It's not that hard, it's been done before.
I hear countless stories from friends, family and co-workers about their adult children moving back home. I'm sure every family has gone through this or is still going through this. Really? Why?
Did the kid sell their car so they'd have money? If they're not working why do they need a car?
Do they still watch cable, internet and have a cell phone? What about that Vegan/Paleo/All Organic Wholesome Food Diet, they still doing that?
They still drinking imports and energy drinks? They stop eating out? How about all those designer clothes? What about all those pictures of them on FB holidaying in some exotic place? How'd they afford that?
I thought you said they were poor. Why can't they afford to pay for their own life?
Boomer parents love to coddle their children and when they grow up lazy they need more coddling. So they buy them cars, pay off student loans, credit cards and give them free rent.
Where's the need to take risks when it all gets handed to you? Boomer parents are risking their future and finances to support adult children sleeping under the stairs.
How do you build survival skills when you still live at home? Why are you delaying adulthood and taking the easy way out? How long do you want Mom washing your gitch while you figure it all out?
You'll start to hate her and she'll start to despise you. It will happen, it's natural when you've given up your personal freedom. No sweat, who needs that? I also love the “Well, I'm helping them pay off their student loan” whiny argument.
Don't they have 2/3 of their adult lives left to pay that back? Moving in to do that is such a BAD decision. Why is suffering exempt from their learning curve? Isn't that what life is all about and how it's supposed to work? Why save them from that? Where is the life lesson? What is the risk in doing it on your own and what awful surprise is waiting for them?
Thousands of our young waste money on an education with no job waiting for them when they finish. Stuck with massive debt and opportunities lost they can't seem to find the funds to pay it back. How about taking the rest of your life to pay it back instead of tapping into your parents cash flow. You'll be just fine, of course you need to take some risk to make it happen. I asked my Dad what motivated him to keep moving forward. He said simply, "I always followed the money, and went where the jobs were. They are always somewhere, but you have to do what it takes even if that means taking some risks along the way".
Maybe the GenYers/Millenials (those born early 1980's - 2000s) ended up that way because today's parents are themselves clueless about money. They just got lucky with the housing/jobs and tech booms. They won the "born at the perfect time lottery" and you didn't.
Get over yourself. Most parents have just not been honest with their kids about money. Half of today's families live paycheque to paycheque and now they pass this wealth advice on to their issue.
70% have no company/corporate pension plan, at the same time, debt levels are at historic highs.
Now with a lot of parents in the hurt locker, contemplating working past retirement age they have to house a 20/30's something year old and maybe two.
Yikes! They didn't know that an entire generation would end up living downstairs. A former co-worker of mine is 41 years old and has never launched.
He still lives at home but to justify the decision and make himself feel better he claims he works elder care as a second job. Ya sure!
The reasons they come up with to occupy the basement are numerous and varied, from broken relationships, job loss, recovering from an injury, pay off debt etc. etc.
What little cash you have left, they will suck up. You may have planned to sell the house so you have money to travel, forget it. It's not happening. There's people under the stairs asking for freebies. You will stagger into retirement or maybe never get there while the kidults still need hugs and confirmation there is no boogeyman.
I don't know why my family and friends argue with me on this. Feeding adult kids and allowing them to live rent free is a BAD decision.
Millenials may think it's fun to pretend to be ten again, but they'll have zero self worth and a severe lack of do-it-yourself skills, going forward.
Life is not fair and struggling is how it's supposed to work. It's a disgrace we don't recognize this and teach it to our young. Move them out NOW, what's the risk in that?
Good post. Have you read the article below?
ReplyDeletehttps://www.cnn.com/2018/05/22/us/judge-rules-son-must-move-out-new-york-trnd/index.html
Yes I have followed that story. In my opinion it was a great decision by the judge, but man what some people have to go through to get rid of those who want to mooch.
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